The Visioned Relationship - An Introduction
The
twelve pieces that comprise this series will explore the possibilities
that await us in the new paradigm energy of the 21st century with
the emphasis on relationships. In working with individuals, couples,
and groups of different sizes, backgrounds, and life viewpoints,
as well as in informal conversation with people that we know or
meet in the course of daily life, it seems that the issue of,
and challenge around, relationships is always a subject that comes
up for discussion and one that generates a lot of interest.
While
the challenges and dynamic differences in all relationships are
vast, most people desire to be in happy, fulfilling relationships
and are willing to either enter into a new one or would like to
improve the one they have. We will explore new ways that those
desiring new or improved relationships can use the powerful co-creative
ability they possess and benefit from the influence of the new
paradigm energy (which we describe in simple terms as an energy
"gift" to our planet that allows us to create what we
desire almost instantaneously if we are able to work in harmony
with it) to manifest a relationship that brings more to their
life than they dare hope and dream is possible. The thing is that
hoping and dreaming by themselves are not very effective in bringing
us what we want in life, so we must look at new ways to bring
ourselves to this process.
We
are introducing a concept we call the Visioned Relationship. The
Visioned Relationship is created by a couple through a process
of "Visioning," which is not the same as visualizing.
When we visualize, we engage our conscious mind and our physical
self in the process of imagining what we might like or feel we
truly want and create mental pictures of our desired creation.
The limitations inherent in visualization are centered on the
fact that our images and desires can not be greater than our ability
to imagine, which is, in turn, limited by our experience.
The process of "Visioning," however, is one where we
connect with and receive an expression of what is possible from
our Higher Self. We are multidimensional beings. Our spiritual
self exists out of time and at many levels simultaneously. As
a multidimensional being, the larger part of who we are has a
vantage point or perspective that is vastly greater than the limited
perspective we occupy in our physical experience, and with that
perspective we are able to participate in our creation of the
life experiences that most effectively bring us the levels of
knowledge and understanding we seek at a soul level.
From the vantage point of the Higher Self, with the ability to
know and experience the great Truth of oneness with Source and
the compassionate awareness of what can be gained by entering
into a physical life experience, we are able to make choices about
the lessons we desire to learn, the healing and balancing of karma
related to prior life experiences, and the ways that we can best
be of service to Source, which means ourselves and every other
being in all of the Universes of existence; all manner of creation.
When
we "Vision" in partnership with our beloved, we are
able to receive a joint vision for our relationship that is in
complete consensus, harmony, and agreement as we discover the
things we hold most dear as individuals and that we share as common
values. We can create a vision of our relationship that offers
us not only that which we can imagine or desire based on our current
and past experience, but offers us visions of what is possible
for us that are far greater, far more glorious than what we might
achieve through simple discussion, negotiation, or compromise.
In the Visioned Relationship there is no compromise. Each person
is able to completely embrace and commit to the shared vision
without feeling in any way diminished or that they have given
up some important part of who they are in order to have the relationship
they desire. The visioning process is a form of aligned shared
meditation. It is a process in which the couple comes together
and engages in a dialogue with their Higher Selves, together at
the same time. We often think of meditation as a process where
we are being quiet, eyes closed, focused on the breath, or whatever.
That is usually part of the visioning meditation, but this process
is one in which we are also free to speak, to ask questions of
the Higher Self and to receive answers, not just to our own questions,
but to those offered by our beloved as well. It is a meditation
in which we enter into a meditative state and remain there during
the entire process, but are also able to engage verbal and other
sensory tools to allow us to communicate in a very direct and
intimate manner with our own Higher Self and that of our beloved.
Through this experience, we are able to touch that perspective
and receive the guidance that comes from that perspective, which
is only possible from the multidimensional part of who we are.
We will explore and describe the "how" of this visioning
process at greater length in the various segments of this work.
For now, consider the possibilities and what might reveal itself
for you and your beloved in such a process.
Another
important thing to know about the Visioned Relationship is that
it is dynamic; it is able to grow and evolve as you and your beloved
grow and evolve. This is your shared vision, no one else's. If
it is right for you and your beloved, then it does not matter
what anyone else thinks, feels, or says about it. Because it is
dynamic, rather than static, you are not at risk of being caught
in a "destiny trap," whereby you commit to a vision
and then feel that you must live your life in such a way as to
fulfill the vision. The Visioned Relationship can be thought of
as an etheric model for your relationship. Just as we have an
etheric body that serves as the model for our physical body and
allows it to heal and return to its perfect, natural state, when
we create a Visioned Relationship we create an etheric model that
connects us with the creative power of Source. This allows the
power of the Universe, catalyzed by the new paradigm energy, to
bring us that which we have modeled and to bring it in ways and
with an abundance that we could not have possibly imagined. The
knowledge that your vision can change and grow as you and your
beloved grow together offers a freedom and creative power that
must be experienced because it defies description with mere words.
What
would a Visioned Relationship look and feel like? As we said earlier,
your Visioned Relationship is yours alone. We are not able nor
would we want to tell you what it "should" look like.
What we can do is share with you some of the elements that express
our shared Visioned Relationship with the hope that it helps you
to form in your own mind some of the joyous possibilities that
you might create for yourself.
In
our Visioned Relationship
each person recognizes the divine within and the divine reflected
in their beloved's eyes. Our Visioned Relationship is one that
naturally seeks healing and balance. Each individual has his/her
personality and soul desiring to experience growth through creative
expression. These gifts are honored and supported by each partner.
Our
Visioned Relationship is one in which two people are fully present.
They are paying attention and know that every moment is new and
alive. There is a strong commitment to building a foundation and
communication with love, compassion, honesty, respect, and trust.
Such a foundation grows stronger with time and the challenges
that naturally occur with the richness of two lives intertwined
over many years.
In
our Visioned Relationship
there is a sensual connection where each partner can become so
attuned they can feel the in-breath and out-breath of the beloved.
The synchronicity is visceral, yet the touch remains light. There
is no need for control. The individuality does not become lost
in the presence of the other. There is no need for competition,
for each is celebrated and supported for his/her gifts. Each individual
is unique, yet the energies of the two are not equal to a sum
of its parts. The alchemy of the two creates a blended energy
that has a quality and light of its own. There are no games being
played for power over the other. Each partner naturally seeks
to empower the other, knowing the benefit is mutual. The healing
that occurs is multidimensional, contributing to healing all aspects
of the self.
In our Visioned Relationship
each partner is always willing to communicate openly and honestly
about his/her needs both personally and in relationship.
In our Visioned Relationship
each partner knows that power over anyone in any form is false
power and born of the ego.
In
our Visioned Relationship
each partner is respectful of the beloved and knows each individual
comes into this life with talents and gifts that are uniquely
expressed and meant to be shared with the world as their bliss.
In our Visioned Relationship
the soul companion, as partner, cherishes and protects this relationship
and does his/her best to keep it pure, by owning their own negative
emotions (anger, jealousy, hurt, disappointment) knowing that
any projection of these onto the beloved is not the Truth of who
they are.
In
our Visioned Relationship
the soul companion, as partner, knows that their beloved is not
responsible for their happiness. They are each grateful to be
able to share whatever moments of "timeless" time they
have been given in this life together.
In our Visioned Relationship
we seek to be the Anam Cara. This beautiful Celtic concept and
expression literally translates from the Gaelic language as "soul
friend," and means one who is nurturing to ones' own soul
and the souls of others. As we align our heart and mind with intention,
envisioning the qualities in relationship we desire to co-create,
we have the potential to manifest a relationship based on our
highest ideals. This is part of our version of a "Visioned
Relationship."
From this greater perspective, we co-create our lives by accepting
full personal responsibility. This means taking action in thought
and deed to nurture ourselves and to honor and respect this growth
process in our beloved as well. As partners in a Visioned Relationship,
not only do we vision the blessing of Anam Cara, or "soul
friend," and nurturing for ourselves within; but we must
also act and respond to our beloved as "soul companion."
An Anam Cara as "soul friend" and "soul companion"
pays attention with all of their senses and intuition.
There
is a blessing in relationship. And we are all in relationship, whether
we are living single, married, or in familial partnership with another
human being or living creature of any kind.
Ideally we would each come into relationship knowing our wholeness
and perfection, with no expectations that our partner needs to change
in any way in order for us to be happy. Ideally, we would each take
personal responsibility for creating our own joy-filled lives.
However, as many of us can attest, it is not always an ideal world.
We live in a world of vibration and polarities where we will always
attract the partners that will best serve our growth from our soul's
point of view. Growth means change. Change usually comes in the
form of challenges. The difficulty is in recognizing the challenges
as opportunities.
Relationships
are powerful vehicles for manifestation. It is up to each of us
to vision that which we wish to create in our lives, including our
soul mate, soul companion, or Anam Cara.
One of the great
powers of love is balance; it helps us move toward transfiguration.
When two people come together, an ancient circle closes between
them. They also come to each other not with empty hands,
but with hands full of gifts for each other. Often these
are wounded gifts; this awakens the dimension of healing
within love. When you really love someone, you shine the
light of your soul on the beloved. (Excerpted from "Anam Cara" by
John O'Donohue)
In our evolving
relationships of the 21st Century, all of our challenges revolve
around balance. In relationship we are balancing the masculine
and feminine. We are balancing karma. We are balancing our emotions,
our desires, and the fulfillment of our needs as we perceive them.
As multidimensional human beings, all movement towards balance
is healing. Multidimensionally we are healing on many levels.
As we are all connected, we must remember we are healing ourselves
and in partnership with Spirit we are healing the Earth planet.
This is the gift, the challenge, and the blessing of the Visioned
Relationship in the 21st Century.
©
2005 Jay Whitham and Wendy Nethersole
For
more information about individual and couples spiritual life counseling,
workshops, and classes, please visit:
www.myauthenticself.com
or
e-mail anamcara@comcast.net
Telephone:
941 924-4756
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